Believing in yourself

by admin on March 18, 2010

Whether or not you’re writing in a journal or sitting at the computer blogging, it’s really all about you. Sure, you may write of things that interest others but really it’s a kind of therapy; a time of self reflection and introspective that we all don’t take a lot of time for but really need. Looking inward is for many of us the only way we can start to connect the dots of our actions and see how they are taking shape in what has become our lives. Blogging for me is in large part a replacement for my journaling and if along the way, I pick up a reader or two who is inspired by my writings, all the better.

I committed to myself that I’d blog more and found that my recent holiday (I’m not British but it sounds so much more elegant that the US version: “vacation”) was a great reason to get back to writing. Despite what has turned into a monster headache and my desire to really go sit in the pool, I wanted to honor my promise and figured I’d sit a bit and write my thoughts. I had promised myself yesterday that each day of journaling during this time away would involve a theme; a theme each day all rolling up into one master theme. As I’m a yoga teacher and like to think of myself as somewhat of a health and wellness “expert” ( that term gets thrown around quite  a bit these days; let’s just say I am a certified yoga teacher with a lot of health and wellness background- I’m happy to share what I know but by no means know it all) I wanted to pick an overall theme that was meaningful. If you read yesterday’s post, you’d see that my theme is the foundations of health and wellness.. what are my foundations for health and wellness in my life?  Today’s theme? Believing in myself.

Believing in myself (or you believing in yourself) seems to get easier as I get older. I guess that’s one of the advantages of age. At 46, I’ve been through quite a bit and although I have some regrets, they are mainly around wishing I had done things that I do now, sooner. If I had found yoga as teen, or even a young adult, I wonder how different I’d be. The inner strength and sense of calm I get from yoga is something I really could have used in college and my early 20′s but all I can be is grateful that I found it in my mid-thirties. Believing in myself gets easier over time only because I have the perspective of the past to juxtapose against the present. The stress of the job? No problem. Been there before. This too shall pass. Relationship problems? No fun for sure, but life goes on. Health worries? You have much more control over your health than you think and making the right choices on a daily basis can make a huge difference. These are all things I’ve learned over time, through mistakes that have put me deep in debt, deep in sadness and pain and at times wondering which way is up. I’ve been blessed with a strong network of friends and a great family and I have sadness in my heart for those that do not, because it makes believing in yourself all the harder. I will never forget one of the admissions of a yoga friend when she shared how her mother chastised her when she, as a young girl, picked out an outfit to wear to school and the mother thought it was a dreadful mix of colors and patterns. I was so touched by that story and so honored that she chose to share it with those of us that were with her. It came to mind as I started to write about believing in yourself because so much of a part of that belief comes from our parents and our environment. It did for me and as I work with children that come from different home environments, I can see their tentativeness as well as amazement when they’re able to do a series of yoga poses, despite what maybe they’ve been told about “who” they are.

Everyone at some point in their lives realizes that “they” are the only one that “they” can believe in. It’s the truest thing, although we reach out to others all the time. We’re social beings, we enjoy the company and the love of others and it’s through those relationships that we grow as individuals and together. Yoga practice is a wonderful expression of what is means to be alone on your mat, responsible for yourself but then when you practice with a group, its a sea of bodies and souls doing just that, but in the wonderful company of friends and strangers all paying homage to the strength of human spirit. Believing in yourself must be the biggest and strongest pillar holding up the house of “Self” because it’s the one thing to which you can always return. The circle of life will steal away the people, pets and things that you love but you will always be left with your sense of self. Despite the ups and downs of your life, they do not define you. The way you were raised does not define you. Your past, your mistakes, your heartaches, your jobs, these things are not “who” you are. They are the things y0u do, the people you meet, the quilted pattern of decisions made over a lifetime. Connecting the dots is an essential practice in self-learning and is a skill that allows me to continually re-shape my life as I continue to move forward in my life.

On my run this morning, I was listening to one of my favorite inspirational songs, “Who I am” by Jessica Andrews. Here are the lyrics. Enjoy:

If I live to be a hundred
And never see the seven wonders
That’ll be alright
If I don’t make it to the big leagues
If I never win a Grammy
I’m gonna be just fine
Cause I know exactly who I am

I am Rosemary’s granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma’s still my biggest fan
Sometimes I’m clueless and I’m clumsy
But I’ve got friends that love me
And they know just where I stand
It’s all a part of me
And that’s who I am

So when I make a big mistake
And when I fall flat on my face
I know I’ll be alright
Should my tender heart be broken
I will cry those teardrops knowing
I will be just fine
Cause nothing changes who I am

I am Rosemary’s granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma’s still my biggest fan
Sometimes I’m clueless and I’m clumsy
But I’ve got friends that love me
And they know just where I stand
It’s all a part of me
And that’s who I am

I’m a saint and I’m a sinner
I’m a loser; I’m a winner
I am steady and unstable
I’m young, but I am able

I am Rosemary’s granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma’s still my biggest fan
Sometimes I’m clueless and I’m clumsy
But I’ve got friends that love me
And they know where I stand
It’s all a part of me
And that’s who I am

I am Rosemary’s granddaughter
The spitting image of my father
And when the day is done my momma’s still my biggest fan
Sometimes I’m clueless and I’m clumsy
But I’ve got friends that love me
And they know where I stand
It’s all a part of me
And that’s who I am
That’s who I am

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